Fun Facts And Corny Humor


Here are some fun facts from the trip:


Longest day on the trail? 19.1 miles

Shortest Day? 6 miles (?)

Average number of miles per day? 11.4

Number of days of rain?  11 or 12

Number of days with wet shoes and socks? 20

Number of blisters?  1

Number of times I used the 'F' word or any one of it's many variations?  There aren't enough zeros and commas to calculate that.

Number of nights spent in my tent? 4

Number of nights spent in a shelter? 15

Number of cloudy summits? All but Jay Peak, Bromley, and...I'm not sure what else.

Number of bears spotted? 1

Number of toenails lost? 1.5

Number of times of confirmed sleepwalking? 2

Number of hours of sleep? 4-5

Number of full days off (called a zero day)? 1

Number of nights off the trail? 5?

Number of times I had to unpack/repack mt backpack after thinking I was all set to go in the morning? Let's just say 25.

Number of  times I attempted to sing the whole Springsteen "Born To Run" album (minus the crappy song Tenth Avenue Freeze Out)? 4

Number of times I said "I think I can see the top"?  There's no symbol for infinity on the computer.

Number of dislocated joints? 1 thumb.

Number of shoes destroyed? 1 pair.

Number of times I fell? 3 big ones and one last fall by tripping into the sign that marks the end of the trail.  I'm not kidding.

Number of photos taken? 1,295

Number of days I wanted to quit? ZERO!

Number of showers? 5

Number of times I shaved 2 (Sorry Laura!)

Number of times I hung a bear bag? ~5

Number of times mice got into my food? 0

Number of times mice crawled over my sleeping bag?  Only 1 that woke me up.

Number of really cute girls I saw on the trail? 3.  Ouch.

Number of imaginary shelters I saw at the end of the day? 1 confirmed.

Number of emails, texts, calls, and comments I received while I was away? 150-200

Number of mountains I renamed?  7: 

1. Mt. I Hate Tilt-A-Whirl, 

2. Mt. Where The Frigg' Is The Summit, 

3. Mt. I Have No Scenic View, 

4. Mt. I'm Gonna Make You Poo Yourself, 

5. Mt. Killingtonjaro, 

6. Mt. Ha Ha, I Made You Cry,  

7. Mt. I've Been Hiking For 3 Weeks And You Don't Scare Me.


As much as it looks like someone caught me napping, this is actually another of my lovely self portraits. Stark's Nest at the top of Mad River Glen (?) in the howling rain.

Things you don't want to hear when you're backpacking:

1. I think I can see the top.

2. This will be a short day.

3. Are these bear tracks?

4. What's that green stuff floating in your water?

5. Does this look like the trail to you?

6. You're room for the night will be $89 plus tax.

7. Is that automatic gunfire I hear?

8. I think I left my raincover at the last shelter.

9. There's only a 2% chance of rain today.

10. I hope that's a gun range ahead.

11. When's the last time you saw a white blaze (trail marker)?